Family. This is the topic of today's post. Very simple and non political. Family has no relation to political parties or religious affiliations. Once again, very simple. As I mentioned before, the basis of this blog is to create a proper and productive conversations on issues that are not laced with political and religious factions.
I think most people will agree that individuals are greatly influenced by their environment. Generally, if a kid grows in a positive environment, the probability of that kid being a positive individual increases dramatically and vice versa. Let us focus in on the environment of Pakistan. It is safe to assume it is not the best environment for a child to reap the benefits of what this world has to provide. Now a reader can argue that there are many people who value and love the environment of Pakistan, but my formula of judging is quite simple. Aside from the political or religious rhetoric, I am judging the state of the environment by how many people would be willing to leave that environment if given the chance. Since we are talking about Pakistan, I believe that number would be pretty high. I imagine most people reading this are a bit intelligent to understand why that number will be high, i do not plan on going into detail. Despite the current state of environment of Pakistan, I tend to believe there is another environment that tends to get overlooked. Behind every closed door of a house, lies another layer of environment. Each house has it's own respective society, culture, and beliefs which they emulate through out their own neighborhood and society in general.
Family. We come to this word that seems to be so overlooked in Pakistan. Family is a vital part of most Pakistanis' lives, yet the inner fabric is not woven as tight as it appears to the naked eye. The fabric is not as close knit as one would think. Parents do not have a tight relation with their children as most people in the west do. If one goes to Pakistan from a western country, it is quite easy to see the difference of parent/child relationships. Readers of this blog can take very different views from me on these statements, but I think its safe to say that a good amount of Pakistani parents are not as involved in their children's' lives as a father in the west. Of course, socio-economic status and education levels are a major factor in these statements. But I would try and hold Pakistani parents to a higher standard than a low income/uneducated parents in western countries. Historically, Asian societies have gone above and beyond the border of education/economics to provide and focus on the greater good of what the family structure can provide. This is a fact known by most learned individuals that Asian families tend to have a much tighter family structure that stems from extended family households.
The family structure in Pakistan remains rampant today, yet it almost seems false. Parents have multiple kids yet have no personal relations with their kids. Parents and children in the Pakistani society have a very formal relationship. A reader of this blog could argue with me that Pakistani parents are so in tune with their childrens' studies and care for their future. That maybe true, but most parents care about are putting pressure on the children for good grades. Nonetheless, those pressures are there to force a positive outcome. Yet, I want to explore much deeper than pressure or the outlooks of family environment.
Father where art thou? I believe it is safe to assume that a family structure starts at the father. The father provides the foundation and the future projection for his family. The father plays an enormous role in projecting a healthy and positive atmosphere in the house, which in turn reflects on his spouse and children. The father should set the guidelines on how a man should speak or treat his wife. After all, children soak up their surroundings. Ever wonder why women are in the state they are in Pakistan or any third world country for that matter? The husbands of those women do not treat them with respect and love, hence the ongoing generations seem to follow the same path. Once again, please keep in mind that I am holding Pakistan to a higher standard, for the origination of this country began with intelligent and individuals with a proper vision. The sons do not fall far from their fathers. Yet, despite the religious rhetoric in a country like Pakistan intertwined with Islamic values corruption is rampant, rape is common, and murder is a part of everyday life.
As i have always mentioned, the approach I have taken on this blog is to try and refrain from political and religious rhetoric. I find those two topics cannot be discussed in a civil manner. If you do not believe me, go talk to an average Pakistani about politics and religion, see how far you go in maintaining it a civil conversation instead of an argument. As mentioned, this blog is about focusing on issues an individual can actually help change. A Pakistani can help him or herself to a better future, by focusing a bit more on their own family. A Pakistani can create opportunities by paving the road for their children to fall upon. Pakistani parents can help create a more secure and open environment for their children, if they cannot change their streets outside, they can change the environment inside. They can try and change their children's' views upon their own future and their country. This sounds very idealistic at some points, but what else is there at this point in Pakistan?
For the sake of Pakistan, parents stand up and take a role. For the sake of Pakistan, fathers refrain from idle political discussion with your friends over a cup of tea that will last longer than two hours. For the sake of Pakistan, fathers treat your wives with respect and love, after all; your children hear and see everything. For the sake of Pakistan, parents please have a plan before you bring a child into this world. For the sake of Pakistan, parents speak to your children, learn from them, and tell them you love them.
